Affiliate Marketing Secrets

I’m a college student, I’m actively looking for a job and only have $1400 worth of assets. I can invest a maximum of $200 at this moment. How do I become rich because I hate work, hate school, hate the prospect of life as a wage slave, love money. I want a sustainable income with this.
Oh and for everyone who wants to spam me: I HAVE tried affiliate marketing, freelancing, and what not. I HAVE made about $300 off of that. THAT IS BARELY ANYTHING!