Posted on August 22, 2011. Tags: anti depressant, baggy trousers, blood condition, body, brain waves, chest, clothing, Cycle, girly things, handgun, menstural cycle, plaid shirts, teenage boy, teenage male, way
I have felt this way for as long as I can remember, however, my emotions are always ‘bottled up’ and kept away in the darkness, often times, for many years.
For example, it was only until I was 8 years old that I had revealed that I was severely depressed, and had attempted to commit suicide on one occasion. Hence, I was then put on a strong anti-depressant at 10 years old, which I, at 17, still use to this day. I hate my name, it is not my real name, and I hate it when my parents dub me as their ‘daughter’ or ‘girl’. I feel like hitting them. It was puberty where my feelings intensified, I grew two disgusting tumours on my chest, and began to develop fat-rolls called ‘womanly curves’ and began to have my menstural cycle, I hate babies and all things affiliated, and I do not intend on ever having them, so their is no purpose for my body to be in this form. I am heavily susceptable to the blood-condition aneamia, so this does not help.
I hate pink, I feel alienated, my parents try to force me into these stupid girly things such as dancing or make-up. My parents won’t let me purchase a handgun that I had wanted since I was 9 years old, and it takes a huge amount of convincing just to wear unisex clothing, however, I feel more ‘me’, with men’s clothing. All women’s clothing makes me want to throw up. It’s all ‘no, you can’t do that! You’re a girl! Stop being so stupid!’ with my parents. I cannot think emotionally, only rationally and logically, my brain-waves are slightly different from the norm as said by a doctor who did an EEG on me. I also have Asperger Syndrome, and I don’t fit in.
I have short teenage-boy hair and I wear blue, white or green plaid shirts and baggy trousers. I only fit in with males, but I am judged constantly due to having a female’s body that does not match my gender. I’ve became more and more suicidal, I’m 5’3 and 6 stone as the more weight I loose, my worthless ‘menstural’ cycle will cease, and I will loose my chest tumours. I cannot stand looking in the mirror at my body, because it just isn’t me. I’m not screamish, I like blood, and if it weren’t for the risk of fatal blood-loss I’d of cut off my breasts by now and modified the rest, including my trachea.
I’m starting High school for the first time in September, and I should be feeling happy. But I am not. I don’t want to even be seen in public, and it has always been this way. I spoke to my doctor and parents for the first time about this issue, and my doctor diagnosed me with Gender Disphoria. My mom just argued with me and screamed at me, making me feel worse, no matter how much I told her this is affecting my schoolwork, daily life, and motivation. I’m just in my room 24/7, playing World of Warcraft, C&C and shooting games and programming script-based applications, I have literally no motivation in me to even wake up anymore, or live, for that matter. I’ve had dreams where I wake up, and I’m me, a boy, not a girl. My voice is different, I have no breasts, my name is different, and I go on to live a confident and happy life, going out to play soccer with my mates and acheiving in school because I wasn’t distracted by constant depression. I wake up crying every single time I get that dream.
I spoke to my psychologist about this (most of it in private, up until the last moments of discussion.) And he told us about this reassignment clinic, which also had opportunities for surgery. Something lit up inside of me, and I thought that finally, I would be happy and have the chance to live a happy life and not a life of misery. But my parents reject it everytime I bring it up. It’s about 5 hours from where I live, and it’s just a corner away. But they still reject it and arguments have been started because of it, only making me feel worse. I feel as if it is my fault that I was born. I wasn’t born right, this is not my body, even my face does not match my body, and just the sight of me you would be able to tell that there is something wrong. I am not a ‘Tomboy’ I hate everything female-related, and I am gay, I’m a teenage boy that likes other boys. Female genitalia disgusts me to no end, including the smell. Just everything.
I hate having no muscle mass due to my genetic deformity (having a girl’s body) and I’ve had several breakdowns because of it. I feel that I can’t go on for any longer. What’s the point in living if you’re going to be miserable all of your life? Please help me and no insulting answers. I would appreciate it so much. I just want to be happy and that is so much to ask for. Thanks.
Posted in Featured Articles
Posted on August 21, 2011. Tags: audience, book reviews, course, idea, niche, point, teen writer, teen writers, thanks in advance, Time, ya
My idea for a niche is in the point of a teen writer. It covers all aspects of writing (types of writing, publishing, etc) as well as tips for writing well. It also covers book reviews and interviews of YA authors who were published as teens. My idea covers the aspects of being a teen and coping with writing and high school at the same time. The main niche over all is being a teen writer.
And, of course, other teen writers are my targeted audience.
Is it okay or is too general? Should I narrow it down?
Thanks in advance!
Posted in Affiliate Marketing 101
Posted on August 21, 2011. Tags: agreement, colleague, interest, job, Non, non solicitation agreement, position, Solicitation, violation
If you signed a non solicitation agreement after leaving a company and if you know your former colleague was also looking for some other opportunities, is it a violation of the non solicitation agreement by asking this former colleague for his/her interest to apply for a job online if you think that position fits him/her. Also if you’re not affiliated with this position online.
Posted in Featured Articles
Posted on August 21, 2011. Tags: care physician, chart audits, health, health care standards, improvement model, information, medical assistant, model, number 3, physician, physicians, primary care, quality control procedure, quality improvement, Recommend
A primary-care physician and her partner, who have just opened their own practice, employ you as a medical assistant. You have been asked by one of the physicians to research information and recommend a quality-control procedure for completing chart audits for the practice.
The following information should be included:
1. Outline a possible procedure to conduct chart audits.
2. Describe the quality-improvement model that is to be followed.
3. Research and recommend associations that they may want to be affiliated with to keep themselves informed on health care standards.
I have the answers to 1 and 2. I am having difficulty finding number 3. I wouldn’t even no where to start. Can someone please help me?
Posted in Featured Articles
Posted on August 21, 2011. Tags: Accounting, bank lender, Boutique, cash flow projection, clothing boutique, collatoral, fine arts photography, Good, positive attitude, Shop, store, vinnies, vintage boutique, vintage designer, vintage store
Hi everyone,
This may be long winded but I need as much advice AS POSSIBLE.
I am about 2 months away from finishing uni for good. I studied fine arts (photography major) but have done a number of other things since finishing school, including fashion design and styling (my favourite). I LOVE vintage shopping and always have and have been told I have a good eye for those types of things. I feel like I could own a vintage store and where I live in Sydney there is a very popular area that doesn’t have a vintage clothing shop, therefore I feel there is a niche/gap for one that stocks womens and mens items. I’m 22 years old, and I think I could do it.
The main idea is this: open a vintage boutique, for men and womens clothing and accessories. It would be really nicely setup, have a range of cheaper but GOOD quality items as well as vintage designer stuff (like dior, chanel etc) and would be more like a boutique in that it doesn’t have rack upon rack of clothes that people have to thumb through (as this would be exactly the same as someone going to vinnies or salvation army). I’m wanting to eliminate the searching for good stuff and have all the good quality stuff there for the customer. Also I would have a few one off pieces of my own label.
So I’ve researched the heck out of this and this is what I’ve got so far:
– Business plan
– Budget (for the things that I can immediately think of)
– Cash flow projection
– Business name
– Tons of info
– Positive attitude (but trying to make myself aware of risks as well)
The things I’m wanting to know about, especially with a start up business, is:
– How can i get financing from a bank/lender in Australia where there is no collatoral needed to back up the loan? My parents wouldn’t be able to take out a second mortgage and I would definitely need a loan. I’m thinking between AU$30-50k.
– How much is an accountant and a solicitor and how much would I need to use them etc?
– How much to pay myself to begin with
– How much to pay an employee (as I would have to be out sourcing vintage clothes about 3 days a week)
– How do I pay tax, how often, and how much?
– Should I speak to someone who has done a similar job and knows what is involved, like a business planner or something like that?
– How much would a basic shop fit out cost, as I’d like a lot of the furnishings to be vintage, not all new metallic racks etc.
How much would I be looking at budgeting to get a nice website? How much extra to put an online store on there?
– CAN I DO IT ALONE?
I do not think I’d have trouble maintaining the stock for the store, but I don’t have any accounting experience so would not really know how to keep on top of those sorts of things, like filing everything, knowing which expense goes where, paying staff etc.
Also, any insurance, rent, accounting, legal, TAX, advice that anyone can give me would be AMAZING.
I am a very determined person and feel as though I could do this really well but as I have obviously never owned a business before I need to know exactly what I would be getting myself into.
If anyone has any FIRST HAND experience in opening a store and things that are unexpected costs, I’d like to hear from you, whether your business is successful or failed, any advice is welcome!
Please only serious answers.
Thanks in advance.
Posted in Affiliate Marketing 101
Posted on August 21, 2011. Tags: Affiliate, affiliate programs, amp, Conso, Credit, credit repair, debt consolidation debt, debt consolidation loan, debt settlement, loan mortgage, Programs, proven track record, Work
I am looking to expand my business but would like to subcontract the work to companies in that field that have a proven track record.
I am looking for companies that have attractive affiliate programs in:
Debt Consolidation
Debt Settlement
Loan (mortgage) modifications
Credit Repair
Thanks for the feedback
Posted in Featured Articles