Affiliate Marketing Secrets

I am a twenty year old girl and truly understand now why people say “Enjoy being a kid.” The older you get you realize how truly selfish, envious, and cruel people can be. Dealing with an emotionally abusive ex showed me how people have absolutely no sympathy, find you annoying, and then ditch you to be friends with that guy.
Growing up truly sucks – and during the last two years I have been trying to find myself again. I thought I’d have a great support team of friends who’d distract me. People have this mentality “Sucks for you, Glad it’s not me.” If I didn’t see it, I don’t believe it, your overdramatic.” Over this time I’ve lost SO many friends. I am glad I got rid of the “fake” friends .. but its truly left me with noone. I used to be a very pretty popular girl – and after these experiences it’s made me insecure.
I’ve tried to stay a good person – I don’t just stay friends with someone after they hurt me because I am afraid of being alone. I don’t just drink or hook up with guys to feel “accepted” and not lonely. I thought the worst of this was high school – but even in early twenties people are just so cruel.
I feel somewhat trapped between my past, present, and future. I so desperately want to fix this – but you can’t force friendship nor relationship. I try to meet new people and stay away from people in my past – but everyone still knows everyone. I feel so lonely because I just don’t have my own niche. I don’t have people that I know are 100% there for me – and I look around and it seems everyone has their own security of good friends and relationships.
I know I am only twenty but I feel so bombarded and stressed. I don’t want to feel so sad all the time. I am so tired of people telling me to “get over it.” – when in reality I don’t see any helping hands of goodness. I never realized how early adulthood is truly so hard 🙁 I can’t help but feel I will always be sad and never return to that confident person I was.
Any advice?

I dunno what happened. Freshman year of high school, things were fine. But this year…I don’t know what it is. Every conversation seems forced and I find myself avoiding them at times. I don’t text them much and I make up excuses to stay home on the weekends. These girls are all nice people, but I guess they can be immature at times. Sometimes it gets embarrassing because they are so unaware of how they act. They tackle people in the halls and shout obscenities, completely unaware that they are not the only people in the school. I know that it’s all typical high school stuff, you know, the penis jokes and what not, but they take it to the extreme and annoy everyone within a 1000 foot radius.
“AHhhhhhhhh!!!”
“stop raping my pencil, you slut”
*cackle* *snort* *giggle*
“It’s SOO BIIG! Sooo hard!!”
“Yeah, your BANANA!”
*more cackles*
I really can’t have a serious conversation with them EVER.
So, I kinda want to distance myself from them a bit, but I literally have no other friends. We are the “losers” of the school, which I really don’t mind except that I have no friends. I’ve tried making new friends, but…no luck. I’m not your typical popular girl, goody-goody nerd, theater geek, slut, pot head, or the-****-class-lets-hook-up-in-the-back-… kid.I can’t find a niche. Does anyone have any advice, or have you felt the same way?
***sorry to use all those stereotypes. I know it isn’t really like that, but i wanted to show how “clique-y” my school is.