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Is This A Good Essay For A College Application?


I want to transfer to a college back in my hometown. I used the common app and the topic was “Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.”
Please give some feedback here is the essay:
I graduated from Oyster River High School on June 10, 2011. As soon as early August came around I turned eighteen and moved out to California to pursue my career in acting. Education has always been important to me so I knew before I moved out I had to enroll. By August 25th, I found an apartment, bought a car, and began taking classes at Glendale Community College as a full time student. I created my school schedule accordingly so that I would have time for acting classes, auditions, and meetings with my agent. I’ve been taking care of myself financially without the help from parents or any other relative because I enjoy being independent and on my own.
I’ve been an actor since the age of five. I remember booking my first national commercial and shortly fell in love with acting and film. I’ve worked on many movies and commercials while doing some theater on the side. I created my own website and joined the SAG and AFRTA union affiliations after booking two national commercials and a PBS kids show called “Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman.” I filmed twenty episodes over the course of a few months. Throughout high school I was very busy driving down to Boston and occasionally flying out to Los Angeles and New York for interviews and auditions.
I did a lot volunteer work that was usually during school and required me to fly out of state. For jobs that were union affiliated there was a set teacher present. For jobs that were not involved with the union including college indie films and volunteer work, a set teacher was not present. It was hard to keep up with school work but I was getting educated outside of school with something I loved to do. Senior year I decided to take a break from acting to focus on school and raising my GPA. The first semester of senior year I made high honors and was on the varsity tennis team. It was difficult to raise because GPA is included in all three previous years of high school of which I was more focused on acting. I plan to put education and academics at the top of my priority list because I want to become a University educated actor.
I plan on transferring to a university, specifically Plymouth State, after completing this semester at Glendale college. A few weeks ago I flew back to New Hampshire and visited your campus for a few days and loved it! It’s so beautiful. The ambiance on campus is incredible. Being on campus made me realize that I want to take a break from acting and attend a university. Acting will always be there. After graduating I plan to return to California and continue with acting only this time with a college degree in business. Acting is business of which you have to sell and market yourself. I have real world experience in business and marketing which brought to my attention that business is what I plan to major in. Plymouth State is known to be strong in business and performing arts which fits my needs perfectly.  

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