Tag Archive | "second date"

Isn’t This Really Pathetic?


Alright, in a nutshell, I’m jealous of my younger brother. Let me give you guys some background. First, I’m 26, he’s 22.
I graduated from University last November and I’ve been unemployed since January (I lost my job…I hated it and was about to quit, but still, it sucks to get fired). I’ve been looking for work for the past few months and haven’t had much luck. I think the main problem is I have little to no interest in my field (Commerce) so it’s hard to be motivated and driven. I’m really at a spot in my life where I have no idea what I want to do. And to add to that, my luck in the romance department is no better. I’ve never had a serious girlfriend. I’ve had many dates but nothing ever flourished or took off.
Now onto my brother. He’s a neuroscience student and wants to be a neurologist or neuroscientist. He has very good grades and has a much more vivacious life than I do. He goes out more, he volunteers, he makes good use of his time. He used to be in the same spot as I am but now he’s doing a lot better than I ever did. He found his passion and niche…something I’ve been wanting for a while now…
Anyway, he recently started dating a girl. After the second date, he told me he made out with her and I remember a sharp pain in my chest. I was bleeding with jealousy. I didn’t want to rain on his parade so I made it seem like I was happy for him…but really, I’m totally not. I’m secretly hoping it doesn’t work out between them. In my mind, he should go through all the failed attempts I experienced before having a successful relationship…he doesn’t have much dating or sexual experience so I guess I feel it’s not fair that it works out for him right away…I know all of this sounds grossly pathetic and I’m honestly ashamed of having such thoughts…but they are my thoughts and they are how I feel, I have to acknowledge it…
I guess my question isn’t ‘is this pathetic?’ because I know it is…but how can I change so that I don’t feel this way? I WANT to be happy for him. I don’t want to be the jealous older brother…

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