Last week, our teenage son told us that he is gay, and that he has a boyfriend. Obviously, this is completely unacceptable, but we understand that our son has a serious mental and spiritual illness. However, we are having trouble getting him to acknowledge that he is not gay despite doing everything right as far as I can see, and wondered if anyone had ideas on how best to handle this tragic situation.
We’ve spoken to him at length, but instead of being agreeable, he bursts into tears and threatens suicide: the latter threat has strained our family to the extent that one of us needs to watch him at all times to make sure he doesn’t do anything silly before he can be cured. Our pastor has spoken to him without better results: he suggested we contact Exodus International, which we have. We have already arranged for my son to receive intensive therapy from a program affiliated with Exodus International. While awaiting the start date of the therapy, our son has access to several informative books such as “Coming out Straight,” which he has been refusing to read with any enthusiasm. Lastly, we’ve blocked all communication between this corrupting boyfriend and my son so the wrong relationship no longer exists.
Any ideas?
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How Do I Get My Son To Realize That He Is Not Gay?
Posted on September 13, 2010.
Have you tried talking to your pastor? He might have some ideas. Other than that, continue to pray. Unfortunately kids these days feel the need to experiment A LOT in their teen years, so this could be just an experimental phase he is going through (at least, we should hope so). Explain to him that if he chooses to continue this lifestyle then he will never be able to get married, have children, and he will live a very difficult life full of ridicule. I would never wish such things upon your son, I’m just trying to inform you of what will probably happen. Good luck!
You need to welcome yourself to the 21st century. Homosexuality is not an illness. Homosexuality appears normally in nature, not just with humans but with other species as well.
You’re the one that’s sick in the head for creating such a mess for your son. Let him be who he is.
What makes heterosexuals any better than homosexuals?
Hun, I’m sorry, he’s gay. Please just accept it. I understand that you may not think it is right, but this is beside the point. Trying to force your son not to be gay is going to ruin your relationship with him.
It has also long been accepted that homosexuality is not a mental illness.
You’re suppose to accept your son for the way he is, not try to change him. A person can’t help being gay, they are born that way and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Stop trying to make him straight and accept the fact that he’s gay and love him for who he is.
“Cured”?
If your son is gay, just accept him. Love is a beautiful thing, be it between a man and a man, a woman and a woman, or a man and a woman.
I don’t like it when people don’t allow people to be themselves. I hope your son gets to be with his boyfriend again soon~
this is a really sad story. you should really accept that your son is who he is and let him be who he wants to be. you cant “cure gay” how would you feel if your son thought people shouldn’t be straight? he is just as good as everybody else he just is attracted to his same gender.
You are the one who needs to educate yourself and to change. You cannot change your son. He was born that way. Homosexuality is not a choice. You will drive your son to suicide if you continue to harass him. Go to http://www.pflag.org for information.
Either you’re a troll, or a complete idiot.
Being gay is not an “illness”. It’s not a “choice”, it’s what you’re born as.
Oh and if God gave your son this “illness”, who are you to correct it? Dumbass.
Your son is gay. You need to work on your intolerance and inability to offer your children unconditional love… THAT’S the REAL issue in your life.
Wow, what is your problem? Accept your son for who is he, being gay is NOT a mental or spiritual illness.
How do we get you to realize there is nothing wrong with your son, and that the only problem here is your bigoted homophobic attitude?
Your son’s only problem is that he has you as a parent. Do him a favour, and pay for his room and board elsewhere until he turns 18.
This is such a troll question. I’m sure you have no kids, and are just riling people up.
Someone needs to watch the movie “Prayers for Bobby” before its too late.
Accept your son for who he is.
OMG I sure am glad you arent my parents. Poor boy.
Just let him be gay….whats it to you ?
You are a moron. Your son does not have an illness. He is not diseased or psychologically disabled. It is not a tragic situation. YOU are the tragic situation here. You’re ignorance is truly saddening. Go play in traffic.
I think the problem is YOU and your denial. Your son came to you with how he truly feels and you are too busy in your denial to get it! Nobody would say they’re gay if they’re not. But because you can’t or WON’T accept it, you think that you are going to change him with organizations or books. It’s not going to happen! If you’re embarrassed over your son’s lifestyle, that is really your problem not his.
He’s talking about suicide because he confided in you with something very important to him and all you’re doing is trying to suppress, oppress and change him for YOUR OWN benefit. Religious people are so hypocritical when they proclaim that “we are all God’s children” but then want to discriminate and exclude according to their own personal beliefs! It’s disgusting! Get over your prejudices and accept that your son is gay! Let him live his life and stop trying to live it for him YOUR WAY!
Oh, wow. – One of my good friends and my cousins parents both reacted like this when they finally came out about their sexuality. It makes me sick.
He is your son. You created him. You’re supposed to love him through anything and everything. He is gay, and you know what? It’s not that big of a deal. – My child could come out being some purple alien with polka dots. I would still love him unconditionally.
I have severe bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, and type 1 diabetes. Those are illnesses right there. Being gay, is not. You can’t give yourself a shot or take a pill to fix love.
I’m a devoted Christian myself, and I wouldn’t turn away my child if he told me he was day. – You’re not going to be happy until that poor kid actually does take his own life because of you completely denying him.
You’re pathetic.
ACCEPT HIM! he’s gay and you need to understand this. if you don’t stop doing this to him soon he will resent you for the rest of your life and then on those therapies will extensively hurt your son. they will completely change his mental life, and not in the good way you want. if you want THE BEST results, just accept him…you can’t change who a person really is and if you try you’ll force him to rebel and cause problems for both of you later on, if you accept him, who knows? he might one day find a great, christian (which i assume you are, from your question) husband. being a christian and being gay, something that i am both of when a person threatens suicide get them a psychiatrist you yelling at him, and telling him he can’t be himself isn’t helping anything.
okay I’m assuming your a troll and this is one of those questions to get everyone all worked up. But in case its not I’m going to answer with my honest opinion.
If your son is gay there is nothing wrong with it…Love is love. He is not sick and does not have an illness, an illness is soemthing that is deadly, where the person has to take medicine, is in the hopsital, is slowy dying….thats an illness…cancer, diabetes, crohens deasese. Those are illnesses. Being Gay is not an illness..its not even a choice, It the way some people are. And those people are normal happy loving people. You need to accept your son for who he is and who he loves. Gay or not. your pushing him away, and honestly it would be alot easier to accept him then to push him away and hurt him, you are his parent your suppose to love him for who he is, if your that religous you would understand that because doesnt GOD love everyone? and if he doesnt love Gay people then religion is very condracting..because I’m sure in the baible and in chuch they teach you to love one another no matter what, so by not loving and accepting your son…..your not doing what god would want..ever think about that?
if your son says he’s gay maybe he is..there’s no way to cure that, and its not a disease or a sickness, as a parent you just need to be willing to accept him for who he is. if you dont you might lose him; im positive youd never want that. cutting him off from his boyfriend will just make him rebell and he might run away or kill himself, maybe you should go to group therapy with him if you want to see him go so bad. It would help you understand what he’s going through. im not trying to be rude or anything…these are just kind of the facts, hope this helps and rember always try to love your kids for who they are, because they are a part of you (=
I suggest prayer and fasting in this scenario. Mom and dad pray and the son must fast until he straightens out.