Tag Archive | "pacifist"

Why Do I Get The Short End Of The Stick?


I have had this problem since I was about 10 years old. If I were to get in a fight in school, no matter who started it, I always got in more trouble then the other kid. The teacher would tell me “Others kids wouldn’t hit you for no reason”. Apparently I hit other kids for no reason according to the teacher who wasn’t even there to see the fight. As I got older I stayed under the pressure of being picked on for my skin color.
My mother use to take her anger out on me and my sisters when I was little and she would call it disciplined, but, was really hitting me to take out her anger that she had from problems she caused my father, such as trying to divorce him for all his money which he always kept his belongings in his brothers name so it never mattered what she did, thus, failed to get what she wanted in the divorce.
When I moved to a non-racist city, I got picked on by people who were gang affiliated at young ages like 14 years old. Teachers let these kids do whatever they wanted in these schools and everyone got away with everything. I was a pacifist type, but, I wanted to get into boxing. My parents denied me sports my childhood
At the age 16, I had moved into a new school. That was the only school I had no problems with anyone.
Heres another fact, anything I use to write that was personal as a child (I’v lived in the us almost my entire life and only ever left for 6 months to the middle east). Even now as an adult if I hide something I write about someone else, they will always find it. People always seem to test me as well by doing things to piss me off. I as an adult feel that I will get the same results I have always gotten as a child. It seems to be getting worse. Everything I write gets looked at no matter where I hide it or how I encrypt it. Someone will quote it while talking to me as if they are going through my private things. Someone doing something never equals me doing the same thing. If someone bullshits about an experience they had, everyone buys it like jackasses. If I tell the truth about experiences I have, people who never even been to my house think that they know everything about me and I must be full of ****, even though they just met me. People look at me and judge me as they do anyone. Clearly this is the nature of more then 9/10th of the people I meet.

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