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Help With A College Personal Statement?


Can you please read my personal statement and give me any feedback or edits if necessary.
I was going to pick this topic (“being different”) or traveling into the West Bank in Israel on vacation and being afraid at first because of all the tension, but rather realizing it was safe. From that trip, I am not afraid to try something new or step out of my comfort zone.
SO HERE IT IS:
As a child, I was what one could call different. A self-proclaimed eccentric, although my young vocabulary usually grasped for words such as ‘weirdo’, my abnormal tendencies surfaced in everything I did. While most prepubescent boys were outside playing tee-ball or cruising on the latest Razor scooter, I was inside, at my own will, completing an intricately designed puzzle or perhaps learning Morse code.
It’s not that I unskilled in these mainstream activities, although my seven year record with the local little league proves otherwise. I just rather (alternatively) took interest in more logical, stimulating pursuits.
I was never one for a simple game of Candy Land or Go Fish. Instead, I reveled in beating my wordsmith of a grandfather in a game of Scrabble or refreshing my Trivial Pursuit knowledge with any unfortunate soul willing enough to quiz me. And when common board games just weren’t satisfactory for my six year old mind, I often created my own games, laying out a series of playing cards, and somehow amusing myself until mother called bedtime.
Yet being different exceeded far beyond my time consumers. When everyone’s favorite color was blue, I wasn’t afraid to say that mine was purple or pink. And when everyone was lugging around Power Ranger lunch boxes, I sported the classic and refined Barney.
But I didn’t decide to be different just to be quarrelsome or a nonconformist. In fact, I didn’t decide at all. It was just my God-given nature. Even to this day I’d much rather sit down on a lawn chair with a compelling murder mystery than mindlessly flip through the pages of a teenybopper magazine or, dare I say it, Twilight.
Of course there were times when I wanted to give up my peculiarity. It seemed that as I was getting older, being different was becoming more of a burden than an admirable uniqueness. Coping with the emotional, unnecessary drama of my preteen years, I wanted to be a part of some clique – not just reside in my own, gawky niche generally overlooked by the middle school socialites. It didn’t take me long (however) to realize I was no prep, no punk, and definitely no jock, no matter how hard I tried. As much as I wanted a label, none fit.
Suddenly, describing myself as different was no longer a hateful characterization nor a showcase of my individuality. Being different was, well, just being Jeremy.
Coming to this realization led me to become, what I believe to be, the confident and candid young man that I am today. Not afraid to speak my most always opinionated mind, I can stand strong in saying ‘Yes, I am unique, odd, strange, peculiar, and different. And I couldn’t be prouder.’

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