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Is This A Good Story So Far?


This isn’t the beginning. i was just seeing if it was okay.
“David, we need to go NOW!” She exclaimed, and pulled me up. In the air a large aeris-copter was slowly descending to the ground. The sharp blades threatened to sliced us into bacon bits.I grasped my dagger and followed her back into the forest.
We didn’t make it far before Amber collapsed, unconscious.Blood was now slowly falling from her leg. I could still feel the wind on my back as I lifted her into the air. She wouldn’t make it if we didn’t speed our pace.My muscles tensed as I took on her full weight. Quickly I began to run. Branches and leaves were slapping in my face. Heavy sweat poured down my face as I gradually got slower. Amber slowly got heavier. I was as blind as a mouse when I half ran half fell out of the forest.
I was home. More importantly I was alive.
They called it Summermount. The name was given because the sun shone for most of the day. It was always warm here. Winter was just another useless word without any importance. I loved it here. After all it was my one and only home. The market, homes, and port made it one of the business cities around. I knew the place like the back of my hand for occasions just like this.
I threw our weapons into a bush and walked slowly into the city. If I was caught by an Overseer it was probably worth 20 lashes or worse. We weren’t supposed to hunt. It was against everything they stood for. There goal was to crush ever ambition. Ever dream we ever had and replace it with their poisonous vision.
It wasn’t easy getting Amber in. I had to slip around buildings and duck in to alleyways. Once I even had to throw her into a stack of hay. I turned the corner where Amber’s parents small restaurant was. I ducked into the doorway and ran into her mother who was serving a drink to some patrons.
“Hello Mrs Quartz.” I whispered.
“Good morning David dear,” she said,occupied serving the honey mead. “ I have some food around back.” I muttered my thanks. I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her about Amber’s injury. Last time she was hurt from a simple thorn her mother smashed a hot skillet into my face. This time I expected worse. I wasn’t going to risk that so I quickly went through the kitchen,snatched some soup, and jogged up to their apartment.
Everything in their home had an exact place. It was like the library at school but bigger in different places. Firstly it was circular. Everything was based in their small little main room. Doors lead into closets and bedrooms. Everything had a theme. White curtains to block sunlight from the small window with red rugs and couches to make it look more elegant. A walk in room had an office where Mr. Quartz was scribbling away. I could sleep in and out unnoticed with my soft leather shoes.
Silent as a mouse I slipped into Amber’s room and layed her down on her purple bed. I locked her door, ignoring all of the posters of teenage heartthrobs then tucked under her sheets. Her peaceful face stirred as I made her sip the rest of my water. I slung by pack over my shoulder and pushed open her window to climb on a small balcony.
“Goodbye.” I muttered and climbed away.
After I carefully climbed from the building I walked slowly toward the sea. Citizens pushed past as the yellow sun set. Soon the curfew would begin and wanderers would be shot on sight. As I was pushing against the crowd I felt a hand brush against my pocket. A thief! Instinct took over as I grabbed the robber by his hand. He pushed me into an alley and took out a polished iron dagger.The razor-sharp blade was barely on my skin yet small droplets of thick red blood dripped down into the dirt.
“What do you want?” I managed to croak. The man’s sweat covered matted hair smelled like mud and blood. His beard made him look wiser.
“ I want to warn you,” he answered. “Stay secret stay safe.”
Before I could ask him what was going on he slipped a brown package in my pocket and charged into the dense swarm. I jumped into the crowd.
I know its not the best I have to finish it and edit. I need to know some skills I need to work on.

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