Please, be brutally honest, its about a girl called ashley who was kidnapped by a gangster and trained to be able to preform surgery on people. She is 18 and she goes to night clubs and tranquilizes people so that she can steal one of their kidneys, before stitching them up and disappearing. She sells them on the black market and one night she gets caught and has to cut all her hair off and get a new identity. Once she has changed, she falls in love with a really fit emo at a nightclub and tells him everything. He doesn’t take her seriously and she is upset. Upon the gangster finding out about him knowing about her secret, he shoots the emo guy (who is called Seth) and shoots him so she is forced to give him a kidney transplant. Then he survives, the gangster gets killed and the emos live together and have sex etc. what do u think and thanks a million in advance 🙂 be honest, it wont hurt my feelings if u think its crap
Hmm… it’s good. but it really depends on the way you write it. The whole thing about taking Kidneys is good, but it’s also what Jack the Ripper did (i’m not sure if he took their kidneys, but he took at least one organ from each of his victims). What might make it better is if you had her reunite with her birth family. That would make it emotional and show a much deeper psychological depth in the book. But other than that, I think it’s a really good plot! Keep on writing, and good luck! <3 :3
It is impossible to steal a kidney by tranquilizing someone. In fact, it is impossible to “steal” a kidney by any means, and the myth of the stranger being put in the tub of ice and having a kidney removed is also untrue. There’s also no black market in the US for kidneys. The organ procuement and distribution system in the US is highly regulated. No one can just “show up” with a kidney somewhere and sell it to a janitor at a hospital.
You may not be interested in whether or not your story is medically accurate, but I have to be. As a transplant recipient who promotes organ donation, I have to fight myths about people stealing kidneys etc. It keeps people from being donors.