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Message Readability: Rewrite The Following Paragraph To Vary The Length Of The Sentences And To Shorten..?

the paragraph so it looks more inviting to the readers: Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor leagues baseball games because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America’s pastime. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including New Haven Ravens, who are affiliated with the St. Louis Cardnals; the Norwich Navigators, who are affiliated with the New York Yankees; and the New Britian Rock Cats, who are affiliated with the Minnesota Twins/ These teams play in relatively small stadiums, so fans are close enough to see and hear everything, form the swing of the bat connecting with the ball to the thud of the ball landing in the outfielder’s glove. Best of all, the cost of the family outing to see the rising stars play in local minor league game is just a fraction of what the family would spend to attend major league game in much larger, more crowded stadium.

No Responses to “Message Readability: Rewrite The Following Paragraph To Vary The Length Of The Sentences And To Shorten..?”

  1. Margaret says:

    Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor league games. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams: the New Haven Ravens, the Norwich Navigators, and the New Britian Rock Cats, who are affiliated respectively with the St. Louis Cardinals, the Yankees, and the Minnesota Twins. These teams play in relatively small stadiums; fans are close enough to see and hear everything, from the swing of the bat connecting with the ball to the thud of the ball landing in the outfielder’s glove. Best of all, the cost of the family outing to see the rising stars play is just a fraction of the money spent for tickets, snacks, and parking to attend a major league game in much larger, more crowded stadium.

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