Affiliate Marketing Secrets

I confided in my parents that my uncle masturbated in front of me and asks me to participate. This happened long time ago when I was in elementary school. I kept it secret until my early 30’s, about a half a decade ago.
A couple years before I confessed about my uncle, I confessed that my grandfather would behave in such a way that blurred the lines of a healthy grandfather/daughter relationship. My grandfather would play kiss and tickle, while pressing his boy on top of me, kissing my neck and ear on the bed. I felt his package when he pressed on.
I was confused. I felt guilty for liking the closeness. Did not like the kissing and pressing, but the liked attention and time spent. I felt it was “wrong”, based on what my parents taught me, what I learned from tv and school. Was latch key kid, when my grandparents were not around.
One incident, I was sleeping on the couch in my grandparents’ apartment. I was half asleep. My grandfather checked underneath my shorts and panties. I pretended I was asleep. The thing about this, is I don’t know if I was asleep or dreaming. I was scared. I doubt myself. And try to rethink it over and over, to make sure if it happen. It felt real. I question myself then.
One clear incident for sure was in the kitchen. My grandfather pinched my nipples over my t-shirt, laughing and making fun of me, when I was washing the dishes. I was around the age I was developing. I felt violated and ashamed of my developing body. These experiences are confusing to me. I doubt myself and have shame. This is with my grandfather. He died when I reached high school.
My grandmother was sweet and loving. I love her. One time I went to the near-by grocery market with her. I was in junior high or late elementary school. We bought a couple items. One of the items was a pornographic magazine. She told me it was for my grandfather. I knew the magazine was a strange thing to buy, when a grandchild was with her. I felt awkward when the items were rung up by the local cashier. I was embarrassed and shameful. Other than that incident, she has not blurred appropriate family lines in that sense. I wish she did not do that though. She has also past away.
I believe my uncle, my grandfather and grandmother, acted the way they did because of the culture or environment they came from. I am proud of my culture and ethnicity, but condemn the mentioned behaviors. That is not how we are suppose to act these days, in this society. The effects are damaging to me.
I have kept these secrets for many many many years. I secretly feel ashamed, guilty, dirty, embarrassed, angry towards mostly my dead grandfather and living uncle. I am at limbo.
Since I have confessed most of these to my parents, my mother tells me I speak too freely and they have given me too much freedom to express what is on my mind. One, they no longer give me freedom. I have freedom regardless of them.
My parents want me to stop speaking about it. My dad wants me to stop telling my dad how much a hate my uncle and would like my dad to stop playing chess with my uncle. My dad is obsessed with chess. I have been told by family members to get over it. It’s my demon that I want to release. My mom calls me a record player. I guilt them for not protecting or doing something about it when they did have an inkling about my uncle long time ago. I will put effort in stopping the guilt trips.
At one point, my uncle was caught doing the kiss tickle game with my sister. My uncle was banished from the house back then. He never said sorry to my sister and I. After a couple years, he was back playing chess with my dad. We just grew up knowing not to get too close to him.
Fast forward to present, I feel my hands are tide because in the police station parking lot, one night about a month ago, I called my best friend. I was about to finally begin closer with that past; and begin my present justice + move on. I had self doubt. My best friend advice me to tell my uncle’s daughters, my cousins. To give them a head’s up because I cared about them too. I had felt guilty growing up, knowing he could potentially behave this way to them. That was weighing.
I told one. She was crushed. The next day, she told me to do what I need to do to move on. But, she pleaded and pleaded though that this would mess up what is going on in her life. Her life has been real hard because school, work and family dynamics are already stressful and much too handle already.
I held off, again… I had already kept this a secret and lived. I don’t think I’m ready either, right now. I feel, that I think about this constantly, in and out of the activities of life. Life is a bit tricky right now, so doing it now isn’t good. I have to find a job and earn money for rent. I am living on hard-earned savings. I am a mess, emotionally. I am working on keeping my physical and mental at check. I feel at the edge. I am trying to find

Because the resulting competition for resources will ultimately result in one of the species being driven out or sent extinct.

Because the resulting competition for resources will ultimately result in one of the species being driven out or sent extinct.

Trying to penetrate the Phoenix market.
It takes about 8hrs to make a hat. Yarn isn’t expensive nor is all the other tools it takes, but it consumes a lot of time. I have sold them from $50 and under. So many people have complained about the price, that they didn’t buy it.
I’ve read Free by Chris Anderson and he talks about how free items get people to buy more. However, it takes so long to make the product that I cant afford to give them away. My competition is usually China made products that sell for 5 to 15 dollars at lower quality. How do I market my hats that are made from scratch, costs tons of time and sweat. Make a profit. Is there a business model for this sort of niche? I want to get away from just friends and family. Any suggestions are helpful because I want to pursue this full time.

I am the antipode of athleticism incarnate. I am not, however, overweight. I really might as well be, judging by my physical abilities. Anyway, I would really love to finally get into a sport as well as get in shape. The only problem is, I don’t know where to start! I’m at an age where anyone I know who plays sports has already found their niche. There aren’t any starter classes for people my age. I also am an awkward person…very clumsy and all. I’m really your stereotypical nerd who’s spent too much time pursuing academic endeavours and being socially isolated. This has resulted in horrible anxiety in performance/high pressure situations. I suppose I am really trying to ask how I can just start playing a sport when I’m so horrible. Who would take the time to teach me so much that others already know? I really just want to find a group at my level, which is extremely low. The reason I don’t just barge in on a team and join is that I know they will hate me for making them LOSE!! Any tips for my little predicament? Any stories of experience?
Thanks!

So I am considering building a profitable niche site, I did do some keyword search, I am wondering what is the criteria for a good niche, 1000 exact searches, 10000 exact searches or others ? Can you suggest a way that I can find a good niche? Thanks.