Affiliate Marketing Secrets

I don’t want to be an affiliate, I want to be in the actual Wu-Tang Clan, with RZA, GZA, Ghostface Killah, Method Man, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon and U-God. How can I become a member? Is there some sort of initiation ceremony I have to partake in, like a paddywhack machine, or having to have all the things in the torture skit done to me, or is there something else I have to do? Do I have to buy a condominium on Staten island? My dream is to become a Wu-Tang member, but I don’t know how to make it happen!!!